Formula 1 casino

It’s finally here. After months of talking, planning, and strategizing, cars are hitting the track for Formula 1's inaugural Las Vegas Grand Prix. The course cuts through the heart of the Strip, and iconic casinos like Caesars Palace and MGM Grand line the track. But if each of the drivers on the race’s starting grid were a casino, which casino would they be? Here are Jalopnik, we’re doing all the tough reasoning for you.

We’ve ordered our list in reverse World Driver Championship order. If you think you have some better driver/casino pairings, let us know down in the comments, where I can tell you that you are wrong.

Logan Sargeant is technically on the Formula 1 grid in the same way that South Point is technically on Las Vegas Boulevard: They’re there, but they’re just... kind of out of the way.

Haas driver Kevin Magnussen looks like the kind of guy who’d be competent with a real big sword, and what is the Excalibur but one of the most iconic swords of all time? Close your eyes, and you can easily see Magnussen residing in a cartoonish castle.

There was a time when Venice was a cutting-edge city adorned with innovative architecture and inventive design. That time is long past, but the Venetian carried that attitude into the 21st century — and our boy Zhou Guanyu has taken a similar attitude to his style and racing career in the 2020s. There’s a reason he’s the only driver in this slideshow shown wearing his helmet: because it’s the epitome of his bold fashion statements and contemporary approach to Formula 1.

This guy loves America, but the America that Daniel Ricciardo seems to love most is the America of stereotype: the handlebar mustache and cowboy boots of Texas, the crop tops and Hawaiian shirts of Miami. Planet Hollywood is that classic, stereotypical Americana — and a perfect fit for this AlphaTauri driver.

I feel like Nico Hulkenberg is one of those guys who genuinely believes he could be James Bond if given the opportunity. Like Hulkenberg in F1, the Casino Royale has been part of the Las Vegas Strip for so long that you kind of forget it’s there. The casino is also slated to be demolished soon — kind of like Hulkenberg’s career.

Valtteri Bottas’ mullet makes him look like the Sphinx outside the Luxor. No, I will not be elaborating further.

There one moment and gone the next, a mirage can offer promise without all too much reality to back it up — which can describe the Formula 1 career of Yuki Tsunoda. The AlphaTauri racer is capable of pulling off some truly stunning drives, but they can obscure the reality that sees Tsunoda often struggling to come to grips with the high pressure environment of motorsport.

He of the multi-colored hair could only be the boldest and brightest casino on the Strip. Thanks to Alex Albon’s penchant for hair dye, he’s been awarded the Flamingo, one of the flamboyantly pink-and-blue resorts around.

Well, you see, Esteban Ocon is French.

Pierre Gasly is French, too, but he’s gaudy French. He’s like if Daniel Ricciardo was French and got really invested in New Orleans as opposed to, like, Los Angeles.

I know Lance Stroll is Canadian, but name another guy on the grid with the air of a finance bro in Manhattan. You can’t. Lance Stroll is New York-New York.

Oscar Piastri hasn’t quite had time to really make a name for himself yet, but his rise to the top of the motorsport scene has been stratospheric in every sense of the word. Plus, Clark County doesn’t recognize The STRAT as a Strip property — much the same way that Piastri was dubiously recognized as an Alpine driver before he confirmed his role with McLaren.

You can’t really go wrong with the MGM Grand. It’s big, it’s luxurious, and it’s here to make a statement — just like our boy George Russell on Instagram. Plus, George Russell seems like the kind of British that absolutely would have gone on safari expeditions back in the 1920s, which makes the glass-paned lion enclosure inside the MGM Grand all the more fitting.

Opulent, flashy, and much like the Bellagio of Oceans 11 fame, Charles Leclerc has also experienced high-profile theft in the form of his ultra-expensive watch, which Leclerc attempted to rescue by chasing down the thieves behind the wheel of his Ferrari. Oh, Chuck; you’re certainly the Bellagio, with its iconic fountains drained of water to hold Formula 1 grandstands in much the same way that your hopes of a Championship have drained year after year.

If you want to enjoy a good show, Treasure Island is one of the best places on the Strip to find quick and easy entertainment. Watch Ferrari racer Carlos Sainz Jr. on the track, and you’re likely to feel very similarly about this talented, swashbuckling gem.

If there was one driver I think I could entertain with an afternoon at a beach followed by a trip to the aquarium, it would be Lando Norris. Over in Mandalay Bay, we could gaze at sharks to our hearts’ content, then relax on a trip down the lazy river. He also seems like the kind of guy who’d really appreciate a big EDM party on a pseudo-beach.

The Cosmopolitan has everything. Somehow, it manages to be glitzy enough to fit in with the Las Vegas vibe while still possessing a sense of singularity when compared to the properties around it. Fernando Alonso is a do-everything driver; he’s quick, aggressive, and calculating. He knows how to strategize, whether that’s playing mind games or figuring out an alternative pit cycle. He’s the epitome of the Cosmopolitan.